The Official Publication of the Toyota Land Cruiser Association. Since 1976 and Still Going Strong.

NOVEMBER/DECEMBER 2006

The First Annual White Trash of the Elwood Chapter Family Reunion

by Kowboy

Elwood, Texas. ‘Bout  90 miles NNE of  Dallas and a mile or so South of the Red River and Oklahoma. Accordin’ to the United States Gover’ment... we don’t even exist. ‘Cause we ain’t got no post office. But when I was a young’un, I mailed letters to Santa at the North Pole. Now that I’m old and wise... I realize that the North Pole really ain’t got no post office neither. But I still get stuff from Santa. Reckon a post office ain’t all that important no how. Least Rand-McNally had the courtesy to include us in some of their map books... so we do O.K. without a post office. In fact, we do O.K. without much at all. We do got us the Elwood Baptist Church. We got us the Elwood Cemetery. And we got us what’s left of the Elwood General Store... which ain’t been open for many a year. Ain’t nobody even real sure what the limits of Elwood are. The World Wide Web thangy says we’re a “community” and we got us 32 Folks livin’ here. Ain’t got a clue how they counted ‘em. But I do know one thang... we ARE here... and, By Gawd, we got us a gen-u-ine TLCA-sanctioned 4wd Club.... The White Trash of the Elwood Chapter. What started out as a coupla fellas has grown into 40, fine and upstandin’ members. Which means it was time for a party.

Growin’ up listenin’ to Willie Nelson, I always thought it was way cool that he had a 4th of July picnic for a few of his friends. If’n it’s good ‘nuff for Willie... it’s good ‘nuff for me. Time for a picnic... a Family Reunion if ya will. But who in the Heck would show up to such a thang? A non-wheelin’ event... in the middle of a cow pasture... in the middle of a Texas summer. The White Trash, By Gawd... that’s who. And show up they did. By plane... by automobile... by hitchhikin’... 25 members, accountin’ for ‘round 70 people, from 8 different states in the Union. A 4-day gatherin’ to swap lies, play some silly games, and drink a few hun’erd beers. Got the gig sanctionized by TLCA... with insurance. Rolled in some porta-johns... rolled in a big ol’ gen-set to power the RV’s and the A/C units in the tents... Rednecks set up a shower unit... set up some coffee for in the mornin’s. Had Bodean make up some shirts. Parked a coupla goosenecks side-by-each to make a stage... and rolled in a band. Rolled in a coupla hun’erd bags of ice and a smoker the size of a Cruiser. Slaughtered some of the wild hogs caught out in the local woods. Price of admission: absolutely free. Life is good.

The games were a huge success. A huntin’ tournament: target shootin’ with some of the finest archery equipment that 15 bucks could buy. A fishin’ tournament: precision castin’ a sinker on an ol’ rod and reel into a target laid out in the cow pasture. Horseshoe tournament: had to move the stakes a lil’ closer than legal to account for the effect of the beer. The Cow Pie Extravaganza: go out in the pasture and bring in the biggest cow pie. And the one, vehicle-related game... the White Trash Recyclin’ Contest. A timed run on a marked course... run in reverse... while a passenger stabs empty beer cans with a stick. Vehicle provided if’n ya didn’t bring one. Old hubcaps for trophies and prizes for each of the games.

The rest the event weren’t bad neither. The White Trash Yard Sale: sorta like a raffle deal... ‘cept with used stuff that was donated by members. With a grand prize of a brand-spankin’ new, big ol’ Warn winch. The finest bar-b-que piggies and all the fixin’s to soak up the beer. Houston Marchman and his Contra Band played some fine Texas music to us and the cows. Unfortunately, we had to cancel the fireworks ‘cause of the drought... just weren’t worth the risk of burnin’ up the Baker family land.

Hard to keep the Folks from wheelin’ though. Most of ‘em managed to take somebody’s Junk into the big ditch on the property. Fro even managed to flip The Beater end-over-end tryin’ to climb out. Thankfully, nobody got hurt too bad.

Yes... it was hot. Yes... we had a few bugs that we gotta work out for next year. But I know nobody left disappointed.

I wanna thank Josh and Chinah, Butch and Deb, and Fro and Murmy for helpin’ me bring to life such a crazy idea. But most of all... I wanna thank all The White Trash that PAR-TI-CI-PA-TED. Our lil’ Chapter’s more active than most when it comes to wheelin’... but that ain’t why me and Josh formed the club. We simply wanted an excuse to gather up some friends once in awhile. Our Toyotas come and go... our friends are for a lifetime. Ya’ll please keep that in mind.